I’m still awake, watching music videos, trying to recreate the nostalgia that late night MTV2 once provided. Right now it’s Radiohead’s “Karma Police” music vid on YouTube.

This is what you’ll get when you mess with us.

I’ve had enough wine and a long enough day not to care anymore. I’ve just finished a perusal of the Internet’s modern surf landscape and I must say it is desolate. A barren wasteland of odds and ends and poorly executed web clips. And yes, it is the “the offseason” for the surfer “athlete,” — and maybe I should just chill and recharge and wait for the new surf season to kick off. Interview a skater or something, I know, I know. But I can’t get that excited for this WSL rookie class, the waves have been good at home and I wanna be hyped! But not even a peep from Joe G is on the horizon at the moment. Help!

There’s kind of some stories. Dane’s in an airport in Lisbon without a passport, there was another shark attack in Reunion (not good news at all) and Owen Wright surfed a heat (good news), but other than those headlines there’s just a surplus of subpar, rushed out videos. Nothing with any moxie! No sick shit! Straws are being grasped at. And hell yes, maybe we are to blame too, the landscape of the surf entertainment culture is in a strange place, and sure, by the end of this we’ll have to go ahead and pick up the slack and vow to fix it, but until then, let’s’ take a look at the latest online offering:

Surfing Magazine: Gone. Although still serving the same banner ads as Surfer Magazine…worth the CPM?

Surfer Magazine: Voiceless. Literally an SUV ad with pictures of waves. Now a quarterly magazine I think, with more pictures of waves. Bible of the Sport, very Old Testament.

Stab Magazine: PSA’s and product reviews, couple cool vids. Have more shark stories written than Peter Benchley.

Beachgrit: So fun! But it is such a slow time of year!

Surfline: Great surf check cameras…

Kook Slams: I literally just wiped tears out of my eyes because their captions are so good. Finally, someone has the good enough sense to use an internet platform properly. God love you Kook Slams. We’re hiring.

Surfing Magazine’s Facebook page: Just turned into Surfer Mag Films Facebook and POOF! All is well! I think…:/ (and yes we clicked that link that says this page is offensive).

Other than that, you’re either a surf brand, caught between a rock and e-commerce hard place. Or us! But fear not. We’re here.

We’ll make something worthy of throwing a party for you. Let’s start with a new short film starring Craig, Chippa, Yago, Lee Wilson, Eric Geiselman and Dillon Perillo called Hello, Sea. Let’s put it out a week from today. After that we’ll give you said party, a new magazine and once we wake up from that, we’ll give you what you really want: A new full-length movie announcement. And we’ll promise that it’s only the beginning. Fuck this boredom. We’re here. —Travis