Last night Metal Neck II: The Bangover was released. And of course, we fucking loved it. A classic (and free!) give-no-fucks throwback independent surf vid starring a lot of our friends and a few wild characters including Christian Fletcher, Muffin Man, Noa, Droid, Colin Moran and more. And wouldn’t you know it, the awkward little thing that life is gave us this shortly thereafter:
After 20 years of attempts, the International Olympic Committee announced today that surfing and skateboarding will be included in the 2020 Olympics. On the same day that the fucking Bangover is released!
I somehow wish that Metal Neck II would have found its way into the email inbox of a few Olympic Committee members last night. Would it have had any affect on the vote? I would love to hear what they think of “us” then. I think it’s pretty clear what we think of them.
Last night while watching Metal Neck II I actually laughed, cringed, got amped, got psyched, Googled music, and literally made the emoji face with the wide eyes watching Christian Fletcher smoke a cigarette in a bathtub full of bubbles while talking shit on “air wind.” That is what I want out of a surf vid. It’s fucking great. It reminds me of Voluptuous. And all the Lost videos. And Runman. It is the best thing that’s come out in a while. It has no agenda other than entertain and make you psyched. And the Christian Fletcher appearances are terrifyingly perfect.
And then, as if that wasn’t enough, just a few minutes ago I watched Christian torch a poor editor at Surfer Magazine on a live Facebook chat interview stream (Surfer: don’t do that again please, I had to leave the room it was so awkward). While sitting on the couch in front of a big banner Christian sipped between Pepsi and Tecate while a visibly shaken editor at the magazine attempted to continue the interview in a respectable manner.
You gotta know when two dudes come at you wearing Black Flys indoors, nothing respectable is going to go down.
My God. The editor even had the audacity to bring up the Olympics announcement to which Christian responded, “Why do you keep asking us questions about things you don’t know anything about?” That was all I could take.
Anyway, today I went surfing at lunch — went solo, we got deadlines and all sorts of shit happening — but while I was surfing, it finally happened. They made the big announcement — well I guess a Wall Street Journal article made the announcement earlier this week, but I don’t read the Wall Street Journal, so I found out today. So there it is. Something I have long been critical of, something that symbolizes a strange validation that surfing has been after for most of my life and have never understood. The big bucket of bleach all over surfing and it happened today. And what did we do? We gave them the fucking Bangover. So how do I feel? I actually think it’s hilarious. Maybe I’m just banged over from Metal Neck II, but I’ve decided, I don’t need it, and I know a lot of you don’t either. So who cares? Let em go, fuck it! The Olympics are a corporate and political mess, we got our own mess, and it’s just getting good here (see Metal Neck frame grabs).
Sure, now surfing is going to be represented by the most ridiculous version of itself on a global stage. They’re Xeroxing Picasso’s! And calling us “athletes.” We’ve officially joined the football team! But who cares, I’m not buying it. Or supporting it. I’ll be right here. My eyes might roll thinking of executives in the upstairs offices of surf companies who are probably thinking this is finally some sort of victory for their own dying and struggling industry. Mainstream approval! Fuck yes! Bring on Coca Cola, bring on Duracell and Porn Hub web traffic! Finally! We’re all saved by the shiny packaging of the Olympics and mass consumption! One brand even had a commercial up to celebrate the release of their USA-logo boardshorts (yuck) within minutes of the announcement.
Unfortunately, I must go now. I actually can’t keep up with this today, Issue 15 is due tomorrow. I gotta write that. But holy shit, what a day.
But first, I’m getting a beer and watching The Bangover all over again. And you should too.—Travis